3 Ways To Get Your Ex Back In Your Life
If you and the love of your life are on the outs and you’re not ready to call it quits just yet, there are some measures you can try. While there are no guarantees in life or relationships, there are three ways to get your ex back into your life that are well worth trying.
If you’re after ways to get your ex back into your life and you want them to stay this time, words, actions and attitude can go a very long way. No matter who is to blame for the final breakup, you can practice these 3 things to help you have a decent chance of getting your ex’s attention.
Even if things don’t work out like you’d planned, putting words, actions and attitude to work for you can help with other relationships down the road. Should you prove successful in your efforts to get your ex back, these three things can also help you rebuild, maintain and grow your relationship for the better as well.
So to get your ex back in your life try the following 3 things:
* State your case – If you really want to get your ex back in your life, they’ll need to know your intent. Try sitting down and speaking with your ex directly about your desire to get back together and why you want this, and explain how the relationship could be different. If your ex is to blame for the final breakup, hearing that you want to try again could make all the difference. If you are to blame, your sincere apology and desire to make amends might help. Take the time to truly listen to the response and let your ex state his or her side. Even if you are not hearing the words you desire, let your ex finish without interruption.
* Take action to make the change – Even if your words fall on deaf ears, put your intended actions to work for you. Take the steps you’ve said you would to improve who you are as a person and as a partner. Show that you really are looking for ways to get your ex back in your life and you may be surprised at the reaction you get.
* Have a positive attitude – As you work out the ways to get your ex back in your life, make sure to maintain a positive attitude. Avoid pestering your ex or constantly calling to see if they’ve had a change of heart. There are few things less attractive than desperation. Make sure not to display this or you may become less attractive to your ex and others around you. Remember to keep taking action and to maintain a positive attitude. If you believe in yourself, your worthiness to have a solid relationship and your ability to make things right, you just might get what you’re after. Even if you don’t, a positive attitude can help you become a stronger, healthier and more stable person. This, in turn, can attract other people into your life. While the ways to get your ex back in your life may not pan out this time, you could find yourself in a relationship that’s much healthier, happier and more fulfilling down the road.
The ways to get your ex back in your life can build you up in the process as well. When you put words, actions and attitude to work in a positive manner, you may find exactly what you’re after.
Signs You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship
The fear of being alone may drive you to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Unfortunately, the cost of doing so can be much higher than you may realize. When a supportive, loving, caring and respectful atmosphere isn’t available at home, you and your partner may both suffer the consequences.
An unhealthy relationship can take its toll in a variety of ways. Both you and your partner may feel unwanted, dejected, unworthy or even depressed. The negativity and lack of self-worth in your relationship may carry into other areas of life and damage you in your career, your interactions with other loved ones and most especially deep down in your psyche.
What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship and what can you do about them? Here are a few examples of common issues that signal serious problems:
* You and your partner fail to communicate – When a respectful, open and caring exchange of thoughts, ideas, needs and wants isn’t shared between partners, an unhealthy relationship is evident. Communication is essential for building up and maintaining a good relationship. It is also vital for both partners in a relationship to feel part of a bigger and better whole. This issue can be tackled by facing it head on and learning the rules of good communication. Even if your partner is resistant, you can make attempts to work on communication skills yourself.
* You or your partner feel taken for granted – When one partner does all the work and the other one does not pitch in or little time is spent together, a feeling of being taken advantage of can result. This is a major sign of an unhealthy relationship. To face this issue head on, use communication skills to discuss your feelings in the open. Take steps to show your partner you care. Explain the actions that would make you feel more valued, appreciated and loved.
* Intimacy has gone out of your relationship – Intimacy is a major part of a healthy, loving relationship. Going beyond sex, intimacy can also include communication, cuddling, simple signs of support and even just holding hands. Making sure that you do your part can help bring the intimacy back into your relationship. If romance and passion are lacking and are seriously missed, leading to an unhealthy relationship, get creative to spark the flames. Little gestures can go a very long way on this front.
* You or your partner feel unsupported in personal development – A healthy relationship is one that provides plenty of support for the development of the individuals within the union. If you or your partner feel you’re prevented from developing interests, skills or talents, you may be in an unhealthy relationship. To remedy this, learn to support each other, not only within the confines of acting as a “couple,” but also individually. If your partner loves to sing, support her efforts to develop that talent, If you are passionate about painting, ask for the same support in return.
An unhealthy relationship can stifle the individual and damage the spirit. If you are living in one, take steps to bring your concerns out in the open and address them together as a couple. When you are able to do this, you may find that a seemingly troubled union can be put on the path to become a healthy, nurturing relationship that grows better over time.
Inaction Can Ruin A Troubled Relationship
If you’re living in a troubled relationship, but fear taking action, stop. By not doing something to change the course of a troubled relationship, you could be doing yourself, your partner and your chances for future success a very big disservice.
Fear of communicating openly and honestly with your partner will not improve your relationship. Sometimes you simply have to “rock the boat” to make a difference and put yourself back on the right path. Even if some feelings get hurt along the way or your partner doesn’t believe there is an issue, saying something before the problems you perceive eat away at you is essential.
The reality is that even if your partner does not agree you have a troubled relationship, if you think you do, you do. To address your concerns head on and avoid further problems down the road, you must bring your concerns out into the light of day and make an attempt to work on them together as a couple.
Even if your attempts to repair a troubled relationship do not work out, taking a positive step forward is still worth the effort. By failing to take action to salvage a troubled relationship when you see the warning signs, you could suffer these consequences:
* Internal conflict – When you realize you have a troubled relationship and you fail to act, you can begin to be eaten away inside with doubts, worries, concerns and negative thoughts. While your partner may think the issue is a “mole hill,” you could turn it into a “mountain” by refusing to air things out.
* Apathy – Living in a troubled relationship can be a very difficult, trying and draining undertaking. If no resolution to your problems is forthcoming, you may find yourself feeling apathetic about your relationship and even your life in general. While this will damage your troubled relationship even more, apathy ultimately causes you even more harm. Self-respect requires that you take action to create a healthy, happy and fulfilling relationship. Even if this means you have to break a few eggs, the discomfort of confronting the issues can be well worth it.
* Worsening of problems – Small problems that are allowed to fester tend to grow out of proportion. When you feel your relationship is heading in the wrong direction, acting immediately to identify issues, communicate with your partner and try to revolve them is essential. Even the most minor of complaints can become a relationship-breaker if it’s allowed to simmer unchecked for too long.
* An eventual break – If a troubled relationship is allowed to continue unchecked the ultimate result might be a breakup that is irreconcilable. If this is not the case, it is possible the relationship will become so mired in inaction and other unhealthy behaviors that both partners will suffer living in a unhappy, unfulfilling situation. It is better to work on communication, air grievances and let the chips fall where they may than to spend a life unfulfilled.
Living in a troubled relationship demands action. When positive, healthy steps are taken to mend problems, couples can grow stronger, better and healthier as a result. The outcome might be the relationship you have dreamed of having.
The risks are worth the potential rewards and the cost of inaction is too high for you, your partner and your relationship.
How To Stop A Divorce And Rebuild Your Life
It doesn’t matter whose fault it is or how far into the legal process your case happens to be, there are ways to stop your divorce if you are having reservations about breaking up with your spouse. With the right actions, attitude and a little luck, you may successfully salvage your relationship and make it better in the process.
Before going headlong into a plan to stop the divorce, explore your reasons for wanting to do so. Take a close look at your relationship and where things went wrong. Make sure your motives are pure. Also, be certain your union is worth salvaging, because not every marriage can or even should be held together.
If you decide you want to move forward and take action to stop the divorce, there are some steps you will want to take:
Step 1 – Reach Out To Your Spouse – While you can stop the divorce, or at least stall it, by contesting it, your best bet is to open up a line of communication with your spouse. Declare your desire to stop the process and make an attempt to work things out. Be aware that your spouse may not be willing to do so, but try to get the opportunity to at least discuss the possibility.
Step 2 – State Your Case – When you have your spouse’s ear, you will need to clearly, concisely and as calmly as possible state your case. Your spouse will need to hear why you want to stop the divorce and work things out, what you believe needs to be done to fix issues in your marriage and what steps you are willing to take.
Step 3 – Listen To Your Spouse – Open your ears and listen carefully to what your spouse has to say. Even if your spouse isn’t receptive to the idea of reconciliation, he or she may provide some insight you can use to improve your situation.
Step 4 – Evaluate What Has Been Said – After you have had the opportunity to discuss your desire to stop the divorce, reevaluate your position based on your spouse’s response. You may have gained valuable information about what needs to be done to set things right. If so, are you willing to take the actions your spouse suggested?
If your spouse is adamant about moving forward with the divorce, has another person in his life or if there was violence in your relationship, you may need to evaluate the wisdom in pursuing reconciliation. While it’s best to never say never, you also deserve an opportunity to make a fresh start and enjoy a healthy, happy relationship down the road.
Step 5 – Take Positive Action – If you and your spouse have agreed to work together to stop the divorce and rebuild your relationship to be stronger and better, it’s time to take action in a positive manner. Work together on the issues you’ve discussed and seek counseling, if it’s appropriate.
Keep in mind that repairing a relationship that was damaged enough to head for court can take a lot of time and effort. It is likely there will be many ups and downs along the way. Try to remain positive and keep working toward the ultimate goal: a relationship that is healthy and fulfilling for both of you.
Now, if your spouse doesn’t agree to stop the divorce, you can still take positive action to build a better future for yourself. Try to remain positive, work on building your self-esteem and gain strength from the lessons you’ve learned. In time, you may find yourself in a better position to enter into a new relationship that is healthier, happier and more fulfilling than the last.
In many cases, it is possible to stop your divorce and create a better relationship. Even when it is not, you can benefit immensely from examining how and why things went wrong and what you can do to enjoy a loving relationship in the future.
Stop My Divorce
You have been married for a number of years but your relationship is headed for divorce. The romance is gone, but you have both invested a lot of time in your marriage and you would like to stop the divorce if possible.
A world authority on the psychology of relationships, Mort Fertel, says that the key to a long-lasting, successful marriage is “not finding the right person, it is falling in love with the person you selected.”
Falling in love is an emotional response to a strong attraction to an individual. It is a spontaneous response to a physical, emotional and intellectual appeal between two people.
Loving someone, on the other hand, is something at which you have to work actively. In order to sustain that loving feeling towards the person to whom you are married, you must apply time, energy and effort to the relationship.
If the “bloom is off the rose” in your relationship it is likely that you and your partner are responsible. By not applying yourselves to the marriage, you have lost or misplaced the promise of what began with such great passion.
It is very possible that you can recover that passion and rekindle the romance in your lives with each other. You can stop your move towards divorce and end up being happier than ever with the person your heart originally chose as your mate.
In order to stop your divorce you must address those factors that are pushing you towards that action. You have to eliminate as many negatives from your relationship as humanly possible.
Sure, you can let your divorce occur and you will probably connect with someone else and possibly fall in love again. If you don’t learn the lessons you need to about sustaining your love, then you will be in the same boat as you are now, heading for another divorce.
What was it about your partner that first attracted you? Chances are they are still the same person underneath all the baggage that one or both of you have added to the relationship by not doing the things necessary to stay in love.
If you are both amenable, you should each make a two-part list of what you like about your partner and marriage to them and then all the things you dislike. If your partner doesn’t want to take part in this exercise, do it yourself.
Sit down and discuss each of those lists, or just yours. When you expose the good and bad sides of your marriage, many of the negative issues will seem trivial. When taken together, however, they become like a millstone around your necks.
Make a joint commitment to change the facets of your relationship that you don’t like. Or commit to reduce them as much as humanly possible so that the positives in your marriage far outweigh the negatives.
Make a pact to think and talk positively about your partner and your marriage to each other and to other people. Expose the good side of each of your characters and each of you tell the other that you love them, often.
It sounds rather simplistic, but if you practice being in love, you will be in love. You will be able to sustain that relationship and fan the fires of your passion once more. If you spend your time dwelling on the negatives of your marriage, then your marriage will be a negative one.
Stop Divorce
Once your spouse has moved out of the house or has said “I want a divorce” or “I still love you but I’m not in love with you”, it may not seem likely that you can stop divorce from becoming a reality. This is especially true if you never saw it coming. Realistically, though, there is no marriage that has no hope of being saved as long as both members of the union are available to work on it, even though you may be the only one who wants to save your marriage at this point.
Getting divorced is one of the most significant decisions you can make in your life and you should not give in to it easily. No matter what you are feeling, it is essential to prevent emotions that either of you are feeling at the moment drive you into a divorce.
Learn to Talk Calmly
If every time you try to talk things out it turns into a yelling match, you are only going further in the wrong direction. If you are going to try to resolve things and stop divorce from being the final outcome, you are going to have to learn to have a meaningful conversation without letting your emotions take over.
You are probably feeling anger, hurt, depression, confusion, and a whole host of other emotions. But unless you can push those feelings aside, you may never find out what has led your spouse to take the steps she is taking. If she has agreed to talk with you and you genuinely want to deal with the issues and stop divorce from being the outcome, then keep these points in mind:
* Don’t yell. No matter how you feel or what you are thinking, badgering her isn’t going to make her stop divorce proceedings.
* Remember how important conversation is to getting your marriage back. If she is the one who has already moved out and filed for the divorce, then naturally there is a reason why. She didn’t just get up and decide to go file for a divorce for no reason. If you aren’t sure what that reason is, you need to find out. The only way you can do this is through a calm conversation where there is no yelling, name calling, or accusations.
* It can be difficult to stop the divorce from happening once your spouse has filed for it. The only way to do this is to persuade her to stop the proceedings that she has started. Blaming her for the issues you are having isn’t going to persuade her that things are better than she imagined and cause her to stop the divorce proceedings. The only way to convince her is to take an honest look at what the problems are with your marriage and then let her know that you understand. Consider how you can change those things to make them better. Make an honest commitment to improve your marriage.
* Agree to spend more time with your spouse and then follow through on that commitment. That means making dates to do things together that both of you enjoy and not showing up unexpectedly or interrupting her work.
It may take a while to work out the issues you have in your marriage and stop divorce from happening, but it will be worth the effort. You may end up with a much better relationship as a result. If you still have unresolved issues, you should consider marriage counseling to ensure you continue to make improvements in your marriage and stop divorce from happening in the future.
Save Your Relationship
We live in what has been termed a “mobile society.” This could have something to do with vehicular mobility, the fact that we move around a lot. Or maybe it’s because our society is in transition.
Whatever the reason, our “mobility” is often the source of a lot of problems in our personal interactions. In these times, you can be hard pressed to find ways to save your relationship.
If you are finding that your intimate relationships are in trouble, you are certainly not alone. In order to save your relationship with your sweetheart, you have to go back to the beginning and work forward from there.
There must have been something that attracted you to your partner in the first place. Revisit those early days of your relationship and revel in the passion and intensity that accompanied those first moments.
Now think a bit more about those early times. Did you both work at establishing a foundation on which to build or were you “just playing it by ear”? Those initial days, weeks, and even months of passion do fade.
Your relationship will continue long-term only if you cultivate mutual interests, respect for each other and good communication about everything a couple needs to discuss.
Some relationships only continue because you are both used to it and no alternatives have offered themselves. It’s kind of sad, isn’t it?
Take heart, though – no relationship is over until it’s over (thank you, Yogi Berra). If you are still together, you may save your relationship with a few simple steps.
An analysis of long-term, fruitful relationships finds that there is some commonality in them all. The couples grew beyond the initial attraction and process of falling in love. They grew to really love each other, with all the warts and bumps and scars we each carry.
NOTE: Being in love is different that falling in love. When you fall in love, it is a purely emotional, physical response to the attraction you feel for the other person. Being in love is a conscious act of affection brought on by familiarity, appreciation, respect and good communication with your partner.
You have to maintain a positive attitude about your mate. You must overlook the warts and scars and see the inner person. View them in a positive light and talk about them in a positive manner. Like courtesy, it is contagious.
Make up a list about your partner with two columns, one for the positive things about them and one for the negative. Encourage your partner to do the same about you. Then compare your lists.
Make a commitment to each other to change as many of the negatives on each list as you can. Make another commitment to communicate well, as this is the basis for any sound alliance.
Commit further to expanding upon your mutual interests and activities. Take up a hobby together, go to the health and fitness club together, go to Church together and share your friends and families.
Your relationship should be a joy for both of you. Remember that “the quality of a relationship is measured by how well it meets the needs of all those involved.”
Do these things and you will be the couple that all others look to for encouragement that good relationships are lasting, fulfilling and a joy to behold.
Save Your Marriage
Most marital relationships have a lot of bumps and rough spots. Sometimes these events cause rifts that are seemingly insurmountable. When these incidents occur it takes a concentrated effort to save your marriage.
When confronted with disease in a patient, modern medicine in the developed countries of the world seeks to treat the symptoms of the affliction. Medical researchers, on the other hand, seek to find the causes of the illness, so they can prevent future outbreaks.
With your marriage, you have to treat the symptoms as well as find the causes of your marital problems. You must work on healing the symptoms of your relationship problems and then eliminate the causes so the same problems don’t recur.
If the problems in your marriage are caused by one or both of you, you have to take immediate action to change the causes of the problems. If the causes involve one or both of your actions or an indifferent attitude, this problem should be addressed jointly.
It is smart to be organized in your approach to solving marital difficulties. Make a list of the problems, the responsible party and what actions have to be taken to change the problem into a positive outcome.
Have your partner make up their own list and then have a quiet conversation and discuss each list. You should jointly decide what each of you is going to do to save your marriage (assuming that your partner is a willing participant in saving what you have together).
In most cases, using an organized approach takes some of the emotions out of the process. After you have agreed on a specific course of action, put the plan into effect immediately. Discuss your progress with your partner on a daily basis.
If you are dealing with an uncooperative partner, one who thinks he or she is the “wronged” party, then you will have to resort to other means to convince your spouse to remain in the marriage.
In this case you can present your partner with your list of what you are going to do to make your marriage better. When it is apparent that you are working to better things, you might suggest that your spouse prepare their own list.
In addition to your list of planned actions, you should also prepare a list of all the reasons to salvage your marriage. Make a balance sheet showing assets on one side and liabilities on the other. Go over it with your partner if they are willing to talk about it.
If your partner is still unwilling to discuss your problems, you might want to seek assistance from an unbiased third party like your clergyman or a close friend or couple who your partner respects and to whom they will listen. Ask this party to go over the balance sheet on your marriage with your mate.
It is much easier to remain in a situation than it is to change. Most people resist changes in their lives. They are much more comfortable with familiar surroundings, activities and relationships.
If you show you are willing to work the kinks out of your marriage, more than likely your partner will be amenable to it as well.
If either one of you has erred greatly, you both have to be reminded that “to err is human, to forgive is divine.” Be divine.
Save the Marriage: A Review
Lee Baucom, PhD., is a highly regarded marriage counselor with more than twenty years of experience saving marriages. Dr. Baucom’s untraditional approach has saved thousands of marriages.
Instead of just dealing with the actions you have to take to save your marriage, Dr. Baucom also deals with the things you must not do if you want your marriage to remain intact.
Baucom claims that his no-nonsense approach has saved thousands of troubled marriages since the inception of his program. Dr. Baucom’s website, www.savethemarriage.com, has a number of video clips in which the doctor gives a presentation detailing the content of his program.
The information is helpful, well-organized and presented clearly. Dr. Baucom takes issue with the unprofessional and unqualified marriage counselors who abound on the internet. He states that much of their material is unproven and untested.
Lee H. Baucom, PhD., is a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Dr. Baucom claims a success ratio of 90% as opposed to the industry average of 20%. He gives credit to his unique approach for his success.
Baucom admits that when he first began to practice, he began by applying the archaic principles he had been taught. Distressed because they didn’t work very well, he researched and developed his own unconventional approach and his success rate rose dramatically.
Most psychologists are not specifically trained in marriage therapy. They add this facet to their practices later on and attempt to use general techniques to treat marital problems. This doesn’t work, according to Doctor Baucom, and explains the very low success rate.
Part of Doctor Baucom’s approach is to reveal “Four Myths of a Successful Marriage.”
These myths are:
– Communication is critical – Is this really a myth?
– There is only one path to a successful marriage (he claims there are at least eight)
– You cannot save the marriage if your partner isn’t trying
– Time heals all (wounds)
“More marriages die from neglect than any other cause,” says Doctor Baucom. He says that many times there is surprise when one partner tells the other that they want a divorce. The second partner didn’t even know there was a problem and all of a sudden, divorce looms.
When people surveyed rate their priorities, their marriage is always one of the top three or four items they think of. Yet few people spend any time trying to work on their spousal relationship. This neglect is perceived as indifference and the marriage founders.
In a career issue, faced with the same type of situation, many people just change jobs, rather than try to change the situation to better suit their needs. It is this thinking, coupled with our society’s diminished respect for the importance of matrimony, that triggers divorce.
Doctor Baucom claims that it is critical to know which stage your relationship is in. How and what treatment is applied is determined by the point that has been reached in the breakdown of the relationship.
The doctor doesn’t promise miracles, but his success rate says otherwise. The life stories on his website support the claim that Dr. Baucom is close to being a miracle worker.
Doctor Baucom closes by saying that his program isn’t just about your marriage, it is about creating the relationship of your dreams and a future life together that is fulfilling and happy.
Save My Marriage Today Review
If you are in a marital crisis and your spouse is ready to call it quits, one of the most important things to do is to obtain as much information as possible.
To that end, this is a review of “Save My Marriage Today”, one of the leading methods available these days on how to save a troubled marriage. The course was designed by Amy Waterman for those individuals who are looking for ways to improve their relationships. It was designed for those people who are always in fear that their marriage is about to end badly and who are looking for strategies they can use to prevent the end of their marriage from becoming a reality.
This “Save My Marriage Today” review is intended as a tool for you to determine if this course offers you the best solutions for your particular situation. While many people doubt that any single solution will work for all marriages and all circumstances, Amy Waterman is honest in admitting that no tactic or system is going to work for 100 percent of marriages. Marital problems are often complex issues that are difficult to address. What this program does is offer a lot of information that is very straightforward and simple to follow in the hopes that it will be what you need to repair your marriage.
One thing that must be said in this “Save My Marriage Today” review is that this program is recommended by a number of experts who believe it can help you save your marriage when nothing else can. It is recommended for those who:
- Are still in a marriage but whose relationship has become shaky and they fear it will end badly
- Are looking for strategies and techniques to help them improve their marriage and help them stay married
- Want to get their spouse back and find love again before their marriage ends in divorce
- Want to learn what mistakes they might be making in their marriage and how to prevent making them again
- Want to open the doors of communication with their spouse
You will find from this “Save My Marriage Today” review that there are many methods to help you learn how to stay married to your spouse, as well as numerous exercises you can use to help with your marital problems. The entire course can be completed in just six days and can be repeated whenever you need a boost to your relationship. The book covers a variety of issues, including arguments, problems over money, infidelity, and many of the other issues that threaten marriages.
What many people probably want most from this “Save My Marriage Today” review is an idea of exactly what you may get from the program that is going to help. Aside from the secrets to a more successful marriage and the marriage mistakes you need to avoid, it will also provide you with the knowledge to:
- Learn how to stop your spouse from cheating
- Put love and passion back into your relationship using a simple four-step plan
- Learn how to deal with children while your marriage is in crisis
- Understand the differences in how men and women think about sex
- Understand why it is possible to work too hard on your marriage and do more damage instead of good
- Learn to deal with your spouse’s attitude
- Cope with financial problems that may be causing difficulties in your marriage
The conclusion to this “Save My Marriage Today” review is that almost everyone who has tried it and has followed its guidelines closely has not only saved their relationship, but has also improved it to a large degree. Many say that it took far less time than they had imagined. If you have a troubled marriage, this program may be a good program for you to learn how to save your relationship.
Tips To Help You Save Marriage Alone
If your marriage has seen better days and you fear a final chapter is coming, it may be possible to take steps to prevent divorce. Making an attempt to save your marriage alone, when your spouse is nonresponsive, can be extremely difficult, but is not impossible.
Embarking on a mission to save your marriage alone doesn’t come with any guarantee of success. If your spouse is being difficult, refuses to talk or even refuses to admit there may be serious issues facing your union, you can take it upon yourself to act alone initially to save your marriage.
The following tips can help you save your marriage alone and may enable you to open your spouse’s eyes before it’s too late:
* Identify the trouble spots – Trying to do this as you work to save your marriage alone can be extremely difficult. If your spouse will not open up and share, you may not get a complete picture of the issues you face. Still, you can work on your own to identify obvious concerns such as a lack of communication, a waning of intimacy, a lack of caring, and so on. Look inside your relationship and try to identify the major cracks in the foundation.
* Brainstorm solutions – Once you’ve identified some areas of concern, brainstorm for solutions you can work towards on your own. Trying to save your marriage alone can present challenges to implementing the solutions you’ve formulated. You need to be aware of the fact your spouse may not be willing to offer the true give-and-take a relationship needs to heal and rebuild. Even so, you may find some solutions you can put into action on your own.
* Try to communicate – After you’ve evaluated your problems and how to potentially solve them, try to open up a dialogue with your spouse. Make your attempt to save your marriage alone known to your spouse. By sharing, you may inspire your spouse to also step in and take action. Even if you don’t, go ahead and share your concerns and ideas for reconciliation and listen carefully to the responses.
* Take action – If you are still working to save your marriage alone after trying to communicate with your spouse, it is likely there are some steps you can take to put action behind your words. If you have stated you’ll become more positive and loving, try to do so. It can be helpful to bolster your positive side by using affirmations, meditating or even seeking counseling. If there is an issue of taking your spouse for granted, now is the time to show you are trying to overcome it. Whatever you have identified that needs addressing, try to achieve it.
* Re-evaluate the situation – If you have clearly stated your intent and have taken action to try to save your marriage alone, and you still aren’t getting your spouse to acknowledge your problems or want to work on them, it may be time to re-evaluate your situation. Consider making another attempt at communication or even try different actions and gauge the results.
* Remain positive – Taking steps to save your marriage alone can be very difficult, but they do sometimes pay off. Try to remain positive as you work on the problems you can tackle on your own. Even if you are not ultimately successful in your attempts to salvage your relationship, you will likely come out of the situation stronger and happier with yourself for having made the attempt.
Marriage is a two-way street. There are times, however, when one spouse has to take action to save the relationship. Saving your marriage alone will not always work, but the effort can be very worthwhile to try.
Save Marriage Advice
Considering that at least 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, it is no wonder that many couples are seeking save marriage advice. Divorce can be painful, gut-wrenching, and costly in many ways. Lives are significantly altered, and if there are children, it can leave some very deep wounds.
If your marriage is on the brink of ending, it’s time to step back and consider what you can do to turn things around. Keep in mind that you can’t wait for your partner to change or take constructive action. But the good news is that often all it takes is one partner making some significant changes to save a marriage that appears unsalvageable.
For some helpful save marriage advice, keep reading. These 4 tips may seem small or insignificant, but they can help if you take action:
* Don’t criticize your spouse or complain about him/her or your marriage! This first piece of advice will help both you and your partner tremendously if you are willing to do it. Granted, it’s easier said than done, but griping and criticizing will only widen the rift in your marriage, and that’s the last thing you should want if you want to save your marriage.
Whenever you find yourself saying anything negative or critical about your spouse or your marriage, stop yourself immediately. This takes a conscious effort, so you need to monitor your thoughts and words. But once you start doing it, you’ll likely notice just how often you engage in this destructive behavior. After all, who wants to be in a relationship with someone who nags, criticizes, or complains? Cease and desist, and your spouse may start to warm up to you.
* The next piece of save marriage advice is to focus on all the positive aspects of your marriage. This may seem very difficult at first, when everything seems to be going badly. But most likely things haven’t always been bad (if so, then this might not be a marriage worth saving!).
There were many things that drew you to your spouse and that you loved about your relationship when you first got involved. Make a list of those and keep it somewhere where you can refer to it often. It’s been said that whatever we focus on expands in importance. Focus on the positive and it will have a positive impact on your relationship.
* Along the same vein as the second piece of save marriage advice, look for ways you can genuinely praise and compliment your partner. We all deeply desire and need to feel appreciated and valued. When relationships get really bad, both parties often stop appreciating each other and instead find fault. Do the opposite (even if you have to really dig!). Don’t gush or go overboard, as that may come across as insincere. But genuine, heartfelt appreciation and praise are powerful tools in your arsenal!
* Last of all, when it comes to good marital advice, one of the best things you can do is be patient and don’t pressure your partner. Gently let him or her know that you want to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work. Make it clear that you are open to talking and working things out. If communication has come to a grinding halt, let your partner know that when he or she is ready to talk, you’re willing to truly listen.
Granted, there are volumes of books written with all sorts of great advice on how to save your marriage, but start with these steps. This will show your partner that your marriage means the world to you and that you are determined to make the necessary changes to make it work!
Relationship Recovery Review
There are an endless number of ebooks and programs designed to help you get an ailing relationship back on track. This Relationship Recovery Review is about one of them. Relationship Review contains 192 pages, with references to some areas that many guides don’t approach, such as sex, intimacy and abuse.
An Honest Approach to Relationship Recovery
One of the reasons this guide is different from so many others is that it puts a lot of focus on the way you feel about yourself and not just the way you feel about your partner. Relationships go through cycles and Relationship Recovery examines these cycles as well as the way we develop and what we believe about relationships.
In this Relationship Recovery review, it is important to mention that this program takes a deep look at communication and how different genders deal with it. It’s no secret that men and women have different beliefs about their relationships, but this program will help you understand these differences and how to approach them.
Understanding Your Own Behavior
You know people who like to play the part of the victim and you may be one of them yourself. There are a number of different roles you can assume and this program will help you to recognize and understand why you play the roles you do. Then you will learn to adjust your attitudes so that you can get past them.
Relationship Recovery deals with many in-depth issues that are important in mending relationships. It calls for you to do some self-examination rather than focusing solely on the relationship between both of you. If you follow the program, you should become more aware of who you are and understand what your limits are.
Relationship Recovery is a Tool to Get You Where You Want to Be
Some people refuse to accept that their relationship is in trouble, and they are unable to get past their problems in time to make a difference in what ends up happening. Although this Relationship Recovery review might have you thinking that its suggestions will work under any circumstances, this is not the case.
Before you can use Relationship Recovery to successfully repair your relationship, you must be able to recognize that your relationship is in trouble in the first place and you must have the attitude necessary to bring the love back into it. You must take positive action, and if you do, Relationship Recovery will provide you with the tools you need to have the positive, active mindset needed to succeed.
Relationship Recovery has Substance the Other Systems Don’t
Don’t get the idea from this Relationship Recovery review that this is the simplest program you can follow. It is all about taking action, and there is a lot of soul-searching involved. You’ll need to think about things you’ve never taken into consideration before, and you may make some discoveries about yourself that are painful to bear. This system is not a quick fix and there is no “Cliff’s Notes” version that you can use to sail through it quickly.
Conclusion of the Relationship Recovery Review
This program can work for a lot of relationships if you are willing to use it as it was intended and do the work that is required of you. It will help you understand what has happened to your relationship so that you can stop it and get back together with your partner or at least improve your relationship. If you don’t have the commitment to put into it, however, then it probably isn’t going to work for you.
Relationship Crisis
Whether you’ve been married 20 years or have just been dating for several months, your relationship is not immune to serious problems. Many couples experience a relationship crisis at one point or another, and the best defense against it is to recognize the signs of it as soon as possible. Exercising denial or failing to acknowledge problems in your relationship will put you on the fast track to a breakup or painful divorce.
The following are six signs that your relationship is headed for or is already in serious trouble:
- You’re living parallel but separate lives. This occurs much more often than people realize, particularly when two people have been married or living together for several years. You share a home and a bed, but little else. Instead of truly living as a couple, you both do your own thing. You live more like roommates than a loving couple, with your own activities, hobbies, and friends. While it may appear to be “working” on the surface, it is often a red flag of a serious relationship crisis.
- There is abuse of any kind. Abuse of any kind should never be tolerated in a relationship. Many people, particularly women, deny the abuse if their significant other is not hitting them or physically harming them. They fail to acknowledge that abuse also encompasses things such as pushing, using intimidation or threats, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. Whenever abuse is present, it is a neon-flashing indicator of a very serious relationship crisis.
- One or both of you is playing the blame game. Part of being an adult involves taking responsibility for one’s role in any type of relationship problem. None of us are perfect human beings and relationship problems are never one-sided. If nothing else, at least one person is allowing the other to be disrespectful. Blame is destructive and accomplishes nothing. If one or both of you is blaming the other for any problems in your relationship, you are already in or heading towards a relationship crisis. Nothing will get resolved until the blame stops.
- There is significant unresolved conflict. One of the best ways to keep a relationship healthy and avoid a serious relationship crisis is to keep the avenues of communication open and work to resolve conflicts quickly. Unfortunately, many couples allow conflicts to go unresolved and to fester for a very long time. Sadly, unresolved conflicts don’t go away on their own and can slowly tear a relationship apart. One or both partners will often feel resentful or angry, and those emotions always surface one way or another.
- Infidelity. When infidelity creeps into a relationship it always affects the relationship in some way, even if the non-offending partner is totally unaware of the affair. People who are in truly happy, healthy relationships rarely cheat on their partners. Those who do are often attempting to get a need met (whether emotional or sexual) that is not being met within the relationship. While often a symptom of a relationship crisis that already exists, infidelity can also create a serious crisis as well.
- Sex is rare or not happening at all. Sexual intimacy is one of the key things that separates a marriage or other committed relationship from the other relationships in both partners’ lives. For women, sex makes them feel loved and desired, and for men sex is often how they communicate love for their partner. When it is absent or occurring very infrequently, it is typically a sure sign of a serious relationship crisis.
If any of these things are occurring in your relationship, don’t ignore it. Burying your head in the sand and hoping it will just go away doesn’t work! Far too many breakups and divorces occur because one or both partners refuse to take action to deal with signs of a relationship crisis before it is too late. Most crises can be resolved if both of you are willing to do the work. There is hope – but you must take action!
Vital Relationship Advice For Women
While some people are loath to admit it, the differences between men and women go well beyond the physical. From how the two sexes view the world right down to their communication styles, the gaps that must be bridged are often wider than most couples realize.
That’s why relationship advice for women is so important. If you are looking for ways to better understand the man in your life and improve your interactions, following the right relationship advice for women can prove essential.
So, what do you need to know about the guy in your life to help increase the chance of success in your relationship? Whether your status as a couple is as solid as a rock or you’re concerned about the future, this relationship advice for women is well worth reviewing:
* Men communicate differently – This is perhaps the most important relationship advice for women that you need to know to better understand your man. Whereas women may like to discuss issues at length without trying to seek a solution, men tend to want to see results. If you have a problem with the man in your life, make sure to have a potential solution that is positive to bring up in the conversation. If you just want to “talk” about an issue that’s bothering you, be prepared for him to try and “fix it” if no solution is forthcoming from you.
* Men are action-oriented – While you might enjoy hearing that he loves you each and every day, men tend to respond better to actions. This relationship advice for women can help you better connect with the man in your life. To make sure he knows he’s valued and loved, show him. You can achieve this by doing things that show you care for him and value him as your partner.
* Men are often hesitant to share their feelings – This relationship advice for women can help head off a lot of disagreements. Although you may have a deep-seated need to share how you feel about a variety of topics, your man may not. He may prefer to show you he loves you rather than tell you, for example. He may hold emotions close to his chest and require patience and understanding before he brings them out in the open. Don’t see this as a flaw in him, necessarily. Men are often raised to keep emotions and feelings in check.
* To-do lists can get you farther than nagging – This relationship advice for women has been hard-learned by many. The man in your life may not necessarily be trying to drive you crazy by not taking out the trash, doing the dishes or picking up wet towels. His mind may simply be preoccupied at the time you ask. Many men, however, tend to respond very well to lists and often appreciate the reminder of what needs to be accomplished to keep a household running smoothly and in harmony. Take the time to acquiesce by writing a list and you may find serious bones of contention disappear.
The best relationship advice for women simply involves learning to recognize and understand the differences between the sexes, especially in regard to communication. When this is achieved, even rocky relationships fraught with discord can often be salvaged and put on stronger ground.
Relationship Advice For Men To Consider
Even if you’re a ladies’ man with a long track record of dating, when push comes to shove in a serious relationship you may need some advice. Living with a woman and trying to build a long-term relationship is a lot different than just dating.
So, what kind of relationship advice do you need to know about to succeed?
There are a few key pieces of relationship advice for men that most guys have heard, but not all have taken to heart. To help keep your relationship moving forward in a happy, healthy and fulfilling direction for both you and your partner, it is important to remember these things:
* Your partner is not one of your “guy” friends – While you may remember this bit of relationship advice for men when you’re behind closed doors with the lights down low, it’s important to take note of in the light of day, too. Whereas you and the guys might hang out for hours on end and barely say a word to each other, women like to be acknowledged. They like to talk and they like to be noticed when they’re in a room. Don’t treat your lady like “one of the guys” or your may live to regret it.
* Your partner may see intimacy differently than you do – It is not uncommon for men to view intimacy as sex only. Ladies don’t always have the same frame of reference. To them, intimacy between a couple may also include holding hands, snuggling on the couch, stolen hugs or kisses in the hallway before work, or even brief brushes as you pass by each other on your way out the door. This important piece of relationship for advice for men can help you maintain a strong connection with your partner even when the desire for sex may wane for a time.
* Your partner may communicate differently – The nuances between the way men and women tend to communicate are so strong that entire books have been written on the topic. To get the most out of this relationship advice for men, take note of those differences and learn how to bridge the gap. Since communication is key to the long-term survival of your relationship, you’ll want to learn how to get her to share her feelings, help work out your problems and more. You may also want to work on your own communication skills to ensure that your messages get across when they are important.
* Your partner may appreciate words as well as actions – Relationship advice for men doesn’t always cover this point, but it should. Whereas men may be more action-driven, women tend to value words as well. To keep your relationship strong or even to begin to repair any damage that may be present, you will want to use both measures. For example, tell her you love her often. Also, take steps to show her you love her by being considerate of her feelings, assisting with work around the house, making romantic gestures, and so on.
The best relationship advice for men is simply to study up on the differences between the sexes. When you want to make a real impact on the lady in your life, your attempt to understand her, support her and care for her can help your relationship go the distance. Even small gestures backed up by the right words and sincerity can help you two bridge any gaps that have been formed.
Prevent Divorce
Most people in troubled marriages would prefer to work it out rather than get divorced. In fact, they are often desperate to do whatever they can to prevent divorce from taking place altogether. Granted, divorce may seem like a relief if things have gotten really bad. It seems like an easy way to just be done with the whole mess!
Sadly, it’s not that easy. The divorce process can take quite a long time. It is often emotionally as well as physically draining, and it can take a serious toll on your finances. If children are involved, it can be devastating to them. This is why it is often better to prevent divorce if there’s anything about your marriage that makes it worth saving.
If the possibility of divorce has come up in your marriage, but you would like to prevent it, keep reading for some helpful tips to turn your marriage around. Remember as your read these, however, that it’s up to you to change. You can’t expect or demand that your spouse changes first, or at all. It’s up to you. Also, it’s a win-win situation if you change, because either he or she will make positive changes in response to yours, or you will feel better about yourself regardless and be better equipped for your next relationship if this one does end in divorce.
First, if you truly want to prevent divorce, you need to stop disagreeing and/or fighting with your partner and agree with them instead. Don’t try to defend yourself or justify things you have said or done that your spouse doesn’t like. Look for the truth in your spouse’s words and agree! Yes, agree. Agreeing with someone rather than getting defensive can be very disarming. They will often back down and be more receptive to a constructive conversation.
For example, if your spouse complains that you constantly nag, chances are there is truth in that statement. So, rather than react, you might respond with, “You’re right. I probably do sound like I’m nagging when I am frustrated and I feel like you aren’t listening.” By agreeing, you may find that your spouse backs down and recognizes that you are truly listening, not to mention taking ownership, and those two things are very powerful if you want to prevent divorce.
Second, if you want to prevent divorce, lighten up for awhile. This won’t be easy but it can be effective. When couples are on the brink of divorce, every conversation can become strained and heavy. Often one or both partners will withdraw from talking altogether because it simply takes too much emotional energy. If you can keep your interactions upbeat and light for awhile, and avoid intense or heated conversations, it will take tremendous pressure off the relationship.
Third, to prevent divorce, take some time and consider how your actions or words may have been contributing to your marital problems. It’s very easy for couples in a strained marriage to start blaming the other person for the problems in the relationship. But it’s never all one person – both of you have contributed to the problems.
Write down your problems and share what you’ve discovered with your partner. This may mean swallowing your pride, but would you rather prevent divorce or continue in the conflict? If your partner recognizes that you are willing to begin taking full ownership of your issues and mistakes, he or she may begin to see you in a more positive light and become more receptive to working on the marriage. Once the doors to communication are open you can begin working through conflict and healing your marriage.
These are just a few things you can do to prevent divorce, but they can make a significant difference. Don’t wait for your partner to make the effort – do it yourself and you may be surprised at the results!
Online Marriage Help
Do an internet search for online marriage help and you will get a hundreds of hits (at least). There is obviously a real need for this service in our modern society. How to winnow out the kernels of grain from the chaff can be an imposing problem.
Marriage does not come with an operator’s manual. You have to learn as you go. The sum total of most people’s marital knowledge is from watching their parents, their friends and other adult relatives interact in their own marriages.
With the breakdown in the modern family and the “now” generation’s attitude about marital commitments, the lessons learned from observing married couples aren’t promising.
Fortunately, there are a couple of websites that evaluate many of the marital assistance options out there. These sites are often operated by religious groups and there is no cost for their evaluation services. These groups are in a good position to determine which sites are helpful and which are bogus.
There is usually a cost involved with this marital help, as it does cost money to put up and maintain a website. Usually the cost is associated with a book or DVD program that teaches you how to maintain and improve your marriage.
Some of the sites, however, are self-promoting, offering an array of increasingly costly marital self-help books and programs. Who knows whether their advice is any good or not? More expensive isn’t necessarily better.
It is important to verify the credentials of the person or persons offering marital advice. Fortunately, the internet has made this easy, too.
Do a search of these people’s names and check them out. A bunch of initials after their names probably means they’ve been schooled, but how good are they really?
The best sites appear to be those which offer a low-cost book or program and a frequent newsletter on relationships. These often have religious affiliations or are connected to social service agencies.
Beware of sites that offer quick fixes or one-size-fits-all advice. Every marital situation is different because of the personalities involved. There are some commonalities, but there is no single answer to all marital problems.
Some common issues in marriages are trust, communication, power and fear. These may be addressed in similar fashion in most couples, but each program has to be tailor-made to suit specific needs by the individuals involved and/or their counselor.
Most marital issues are readily solved when they are brought to light. Most couples want to solve their difficulties and are usually open to professional assistance and counseling.
Friends and family usually don’t make good counselors, so internet sites often offer the quickest and most readily available information on the issues facing marriages, as well as the common solutions.
The books written by professionally-trained counselors go into the problems and variables in depth. These offer the best marriage assistance outside of one-on-one personal counseling from a trained psychologist, social worker or clergyman.
Part of the appeal of online marriage help is the anonymity. People who are reluctant to share the details of their problems are more comfortable with an online, anonymous counselor.
Another advantage is that the cost of purchasing an online marriage counseling program is far less than attending a number of face-to-face sessions with a professional therapist. Online purchases usually come with a money-back guarantee as well.
Mind Movies: A Review
Working Man Finds Keys to Vault
An Aussie working man knew he was destined for something better than packing boxes in a manufacturing plant.
He had tried a number of self-help success programs, but nothing seemed to work. He just didn’t seem to be able to focus long enough for powerful visualization techniques to work for him.
One day he had a flash of inspiration. From this idea came the concept of “Mind Movies” and its audio-visual approach to visualization, augmented by subliminal messages. Suddenly Ryan Higgins’ life began to turn around.
He became a magnet for financial opportunities, romantic liaisons, and better relationships with family and friends, and he had a better understanding of his spiritual side. All of the things that had eluded him for years were suddenly drawn to him.
In just a few weeks of applying his personalized Mind Movie, Ryan was able to “fire his boss” and move on to bigger and better things. His friends noticed the changes in Ryan’s life and wondered what he had done. They then all wanted Mind Movies of their own.
Ryan now travels internationally speaking about his experience and sharing it with his audiences.
Ryan also set up a webpage for internet queries. Visitors may access six of the mind movies at no cost. After sticking their toes in the water, visitors may order one of Ryan personalized programs for themselves.
Programs designed for each individual are more effective than the general Mind Movies on the site. Even these will work, though, so visit the site and check things out at www.mindmovies.com.
There is no risk because he offers a money-back guarantee of satisfaction.
The principles of Mind Movies are laid out in “The Law of Attraction,” in which focused visualization has been found to be responsible for dramatic changes in people’s lives. The Mind Movies facilitate the mental focus necessary to maximize the effect of this natural law.
For those of you not familiar with the Law of Attraction, the principle is that if you visualize your wants and needs strongly and believe in what you are doing, events will come your way that will make your visualizations a reality.
Before you dismiss the Law of Attraction, you should know that science has long known about how mental focus can affect the world around us. There are documented cases of visualization stimulating improbable success in business, improved personal relationships, weight loss and fitness and spirituality.
Jon Gabriel used visualization to change from a morbidly obese financial manager in New York City to a trim and fit self-improvement lecturer living in Australia.
Doctor Maxwell Maltz described experiments where athletes used meditation to improve their athletic performance.
In a filmed interaction between Ryan Higgins and Frank Kern, the multi-millionaire internet entrepreneur, Kern admitted that he had inadvertently used visualization to begin his businesses years before.
Kern said that he had made a list of what he wanted his life to be like. Years later he found the list and discovered that his life was exactly like that which he had projected on that list.
Higgins has posted on his site some of the testimonials he has received about his program. His acolytes have almost a religious fervor about how their lives have been changed by Ryan’s Mind Movies.
Marriage Crisis
If you find yourself suddenly dealing with a crisis in your marriage, it may seem as though it appeared from nowhere. You spouse may have decided to end the marriage or may have admitted to no longer loving you. Whatever the cause, it’s certain that you are going through a confusing and painful time. You probably have no idea of what to do because you never had such a crisis before and you aren’t sure how to react. Fortunately, though, there are some things that you can keep in mind in order to get through the crisis without having to end your marriage.
Give More than Fifty Percent
Many couples will tell you that the key to a successful marriage is in having a 50/50 relationship. But when your spouse has decided to end the relationship and is obviously not working towards the same goals that you have, then you’ll have to do more than your fair share to keep the marriage alive.
If your spouse has asked for a divorce or separation or has simply stated that there is no love left, there is still hope that you can get your marriage back. There is even the possibility that your marriage could be better than ever if you can survive this marriage crisis. Relationships are rarely good all the time. They are like the waves of the ocean, peaking and then dropping back down. There is still hope that your relationship could reach that next peak if you stay positive and do whatever it takes to make your marriage work.
Learn to Identify “Justification”
Your partner may seem to be extremely angry and complain about everything you have ever said and done throughout the duration of your marriage. Don’t assume that these complaints are the real reason that your spouse has decided to end the relationship. If your spouse is feeling guilty for the current crisis, she may express anger to justify her decision. The more complaints made against you, the less likely it is that any of them are the real reason for the separation and you should try not to take them personally.
Make Changes to Other Areas of Your Life
Although this probably isn’t the best time to switch careers, it is the ideal time to start a hobby in which you have always been interested. Add some activities that you can enjoy so that everything going on in your life isn’t negative and isn’t related to your marriage. Taking on new challenges can help you feel better about yourself and may make your spouse see you as a more interesting person.
Give Your Spouse the Space Needed
If your spouse has decided to end your marriage, the last thing you should do is follow her, call her incessantly, or bother her at work. How can anyone expect to get through this type of crisis without having the opportunity to sort through their feelings? Instead of demanding that she tell you what her thoughts are, give her the chance to find out the answer for herself. There is the possibility that she doesn’t know on what she is basing her decision but is just feeling a “loss of self”. In that case, some time may be all it takes to change her mind about ending your relationship.
Getting through a crisis in your marriage can take a lot of time and the spouse that has decided to end the relationship may need to deal with some personal issues before deciding what to do about your marriage. If you are dedicated to doing everything you can to keep your marriage together, there is always hope of getting through the crisis without it ending in divorce.
Marital Crisis
There’s an old saying about business, that anyone not making mistakes in business isn’t doing anything. The same is true of any human endeavor, including marital crises, which are common. And how a couple responds to a crisis is a determining factor in whether or not the marriage will survive.
Marriage crises are caused by a wide variety of factors: lack of communication, lack of common interests, too many outside interests, career interference, marital infidelity and indifference.
All of these can lead to severe marital problems and maybe even divorce. A combination of several of these factors is nearly always fatal.
Communication:
A married couple who aren’t communicating or can’t communicate on at least some levels have a relationship that isn’t going anywhere. If a couple cannot share their goals, dreams, desires, interests and common activities they are not particularly well-suited.
In this day of no-fault divorces, marriages are shattered for far less than a lack of communication.
“My wife doesn’t understand me” was the plaintive whine of a philandering male a half-century past. How the heck could she understand him when he never talked to her about anything?
Nowadays there is no reason not to communicate, what with cell phones, Blackberries and all the other digital electronics marvels. Every other person you see driving, walking, sitting in the park or standing in line is using their cell phone to communicate with someone.
A married couple should make an effort to share both family and outside-the-family activities. They should discuss their plans for their home, their children, and their vacations, and they should “hang out” together as much as possible.
Common Interests:
If a couple has children, hopefully that will be a common interest. Other than kids, a couple who share hobbies, sports and sports spectating, and outdoor activities are experiencing a number of common interests.
A marital crisis arises when the man hangs out with his buddies watching sports on the tube, while the woman involves herself with her children and friends. They are together only at night when they go to bed.
Each has their own career and circle of friends. Why are they married? There must have been some common attraction when they were first dating, but they never developed anything beyond that initial physical attraction (isn’t that where it all starts?).
Often a couple’s individual careers carry them in opposite directions. This can cause a strain on a marriage. One way to avert this is to make sure to have a lot of other mutual activities every week.
Marital Infidelity:
Visualize this: A man leaves home for work in the morning and the parting image is that of his wife still in her robe getting ready for her job. At the office all the people are dressed for work and are on their best social behavior.
It is easy for a guy to develop interest in the women with whom he works. He is only seeing them in their best light, not in robes and sleep-mussed hair. A business lunch or a few drinks after work and the trap is baited.
A smart man or woman avoids any emotional entanglements at work or anywhere else. If they focus on their home, their mate and their family, they seldom stray. Both partners should try to spend some time with each other when they are groomed and at their best.
Indifference:
A common complaint from people in a marital crisis is that their partner seems indifferent to their relationship. Whether this is actual or imagined, the crisis it causes is very real.
Indifference goes back to the lack of communication, the lack of common interests and the hanky-panky going on at the office.
The cure for indifference is to establish dialogue, nurture the intimacy with your mate, and work at the relationship.
Magic of Making Up Review
One of the most important things you can do if your relationship is in trouble is to read a lot of information on repairing it. This “Magic of Making Up Review” is intended to help you determine if this ebook is the one that will get you back on track. The Magic of Making Up is a system that is designed to help you understand what has gone wrong in your relationship and determine what options you have for repairing it by using some psychological tricks and other methods.
You might be surprised to find out that one piece of advice given in the Magic of Making Up review is that one of the biggest mistakes you can make after a breakup is to start begging for forgiveness. This ebook teaches you how to assess yourself after a breakup instead of letting your emotions take over and control your actions. Instead, you will learn how to calm yourself so that you can prepare to get your spouse back.
If this Magic of Making Up review leaves you with the impression that it is only for helping you save your current relationship, it is not. It is also aimed at helping those who are interested in getting their exes back as well. With just more than sixty pages, this book will provide you with insight into any type of relationship. It can even help you with any relationships you may have in the future!
Learning the Magic of Making Up System
The system behind the book is a step-by-step plan that uses numerous techniques explained in full detail to help you get your ex back. These techniques can be used for those who have already broken up as well as those who are trying to avoid a breakup. It even offers advice on what to do if you cheated on your ex or if your ex has already found someone new.
The most important thing you can get from this Magic of Making Up review is that it has something for every situation in which you may be. Each relationship, like each breakup, has its own unique circumstance which makes it difficult for a single system to cover every one. Although the same may be said of this program, it offers you an abundance of information that is more likely to touch on the problems you are having and to help you find the solutions you need.
Another important issue in this Magic of Making Up review is that the program has been proven to be successful for a lot of people since it has been available on the market. It has been successful at getting 95% of couples back together in more than sixty countries. Best of all, it is easy to follow the plan and use the techniques without any danger of making matters worse. Many of those who have had success due to following this program have done so within a week of following it.
Magic of Making Up Review Conclusion
Two of the most appealing features of this book are that the techniques and advice in it apply to a number of different situations just as effectively and that it has a proven track record of success. Basically, it gives you a different outlook on your situation so that you can react calmly and get different results than you will from responding in your normal manner. It does appear to be one of the more successful books available on the market for saving relationships.
Help Marriage
Some of the most dreaded words a spouse can hear are “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” Too often, we get to this point before we start to worry about how to help our marriage grow and be strong. These words can seemingly come from nowhere or there may be issues in the marriage that you simply aren’t dealing with. Whether there has been infidelity or some other instance of broken trust in the relationship, or there has been abuse, boredom, or any number of other issues, you will need to actively work to save your marriage and make it the healthy, happy relationship that you always wanted it to be.
The First Step to Help Marital Problems Go Away
Any marriage has highs and lows that are a normal part of the flow of things. When you go through an extended period of lows, however, there may be a problem. Until you identify what that problem is, you aren’t going to be able to make it better. In some instances, targeting the issue that is making you fight all the time or that is hurting one of you is simple.
You may be fighting over money or maybe you are upset that your spouse doesn’t seem to be interested in you physically anymore. For others, the reason for the problems may be less obvious. If you have to get counseling to figure out what the problems are, then do it. You can’t find solutions without knowing the problems.
The Second Step to Help Marital Problems Go Away
Once you have identified the problem or problems, you can take a practical approach to making them go away. This is going to require you to sit down and talk calmly and honestly about creating a plan for making things better. This is probably going to be more difficult than you expect it to be. Even those problems that seem minor can be very complex once you start working on them. Often that’s because your spouse is the one who considers it to be a deal breaker and by the time things have gotten to the point where you are in danger of losing your relationship, they have peaked.
You may have to do more than adjust your attitude in order to help your marital problems go away. For instance, if your wife has delivered the “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” message and she has been avoiding any type of intimacy with you for months, you may be confused about what seems to have been a sudden change in her feelings. When she tells you that the 50-pound beer gut you have put on has completely cooled her off, are you going to be willing to commit to getting yourself in shape in order to help your marital problems go away?
The problem can also be something like the fact that she feels rejected by you since you haven’t touched her in six months. If she has put on a lot of weight or just isn’t taking care of herself and you don’t see her in the same way, you need to put your cards on the table as well. With these types of issues, it is important not to be accusatory or point a finger of blame. Use the word “I” instead of the word “you”.
The Third Step to Help Marital Problems Go Away
You have to have time to help your marital problems go away, regardless of what they are. Whether you choose to get counseling or work on the problems yourself, it takes time to find solutions for your problems and to heal from the damage that they have already done. Always keep in mind that you are working to change your marriage and not your spouse. It is the relationship that needs mending and you will both have to work at it and at finding what you admire most in each other in order to fall in love again.
Getting Back Your Ex-Girlfriend
You miss her. You can’t stop thinking about her, this special woman who is no longer part of your life. How do you go about getting back your ex-girlfriend? Certainly there is something you can do.
The dilemma faced by a number of men is how to rekindle their relationship with that unforgettable girl, and there is no simple answer.
Your options are governed by a number of concerns, not the least of which is why she broke up with you in the first place. Were you unfaithful, inattentive, or didn’t share the same interests, or were you just plain boring?
All of these are huge obstacles, but none of them is insurmountable. There had to be something that drew you together in the first place and you have to go back to that point to try and renew her interest.
First and foremost, don’t plead with her. That is a sure-fire turn-off. You immediately paint yourself as pitiful and you abdicate any negotiating position. Begging her to come back to you will cost you any respect she may have for you and your self-respect as well.
If she is a really “up-front” person, you should ask her to meet with you, maybe over dinner at a favorite restaurant. Meeting in a noisy bar or hangout wouldn’t be a smart idea. You want a reasonably quiet, friendly place, preferably one with some fond memories for both of you.
If you have something to feel contrite about, apologize to her at the outset. Then state your case, recalling the many good aspects of your relationship.
Make the point that you shared so much good that it would be a shame not to work on overcoming the negative issues together and make your relationship the best it can be for both of you.
Another tactic is a third-party intervention. This can be either direct or indirect. A mutual friend can suggest directly that “you guys were such a good couple; it is sad that you don’t get back together. I know (your name here) talks about you all the time and how much he misses you.”
A less direct approach would be for that friend to frequently comment on what a nice couple you were together. They could go on to say, “It’s a shame that you never worked out your differences.”
If they report back that there is any sign of interest, you should be on it in a flash while the thought is still fresh in your ex-girlfriend’s mind.
Okay, you’ve made the connection; now what is the next step? Make sure you have a plan. Just like in any presentation, unless you are an improvisational phenomenon, you should have a well thought-out agenda for your first meeting.
You should use a tried-and-true method like the “Ho-Hum Formula” for public speaking: Use an attention-getting opening statement, tell them why you are there, go into the body of your speech and then close with a reaffirmation of why you are there.
How To Get Your Boyfriend Back
Breakups are hard. They’re even harder if you don’t feel the split was a good idea. If you’re ready to give it another go and want to know how to get your boyfriend back, there are things you can do.
Keep in mind that not every relationship is reparable and that sometimes staying apart is much better for both parties. If your relationship was truly unhealthy, or if it involved violence or serious betrayal at the end, you may want to closely examine the idea of trying to get your boyfriend back.
If you have examined your relationship and feel it’s truly worth salvaging and making better, there are several tips you may want to try to get your boyfriend back.
Tip 1 – Explore the reasons for the breakup. If you want to get your boyfriend back, there will generally be issues with the relationship that will need to be resolved. Examine where things went wrong and what can be done to overcome the problem or problems. Remember that relationships are two-way streets and so are breakups. Chances are, the “fault” lies with both parties.
Tip 2 – Give him some space. If you really want to get your boyfriend back after a split, state your desire and then give him some space. Don’t hound him, send notes, pester or otherwise harass him. State your case, and be clear about why you think things went wrong and what your ideas are of how to right those wrongs. He’ll either come around or he won’t.
Tip 3 – Take care of yourself. Breakups can take their toll on more than your emotions. Now is not the time to let yourself or your health go. If you really want to get your boyfriend back, try to be kind to yourself by eating right, staying in shape and trying to focus on being kind to yourself. Your boyfriend is likely to find you more attractive if you put forth the effort to take care of yourself.
Tip 4 – Stay positive. Use the law of attraction to your advantage and try to maintain a positive attitude. Even if your boyfriend hasn’t contacted you back about your request to work things out, proceed with the belief that the situation will resolve itself in your favor. Even if you don’t get “him” back, your positive attitude could bring other good things (and people) into your life.
Tip 5 – Develop your own interests. While you two are working things out or as you wait for his response, don’t sit around pining for the phone to ring. Get out and explore your own interests. Stand on your own as a person. Have fun and truly enjoy yourself. Doing so can help boost your self-esteem, which will make you a happier person. Happy, positive people tend to attract positive attention from others.
Tip 6 – Remain open-minded. If you have stated your desire to get back together and he’s agreeable to talking, use good communication skills to try and bridge the gaps between you. Talk out your problems without letting anger get in the way. Listen to what he has to say and share your feelings and observations, too.
If you want to get your boyfriend back, be honest, open and positive. Even if it doesn’t work out quite the way you wanted it to, you may find yourself happier for making the effort.
Divorce Statistics
More than half of the marriages in the United States will end in divorce. Divorce statistics in many of the other developed nations are almost as high. It seems that we are living in a society that believes in throw-away marriages.
Despite the traditional marriage vows most people make, most of which include the statement, “until death do us part,” marriage has become almost a casual relationship in many parts of society.
In particular, people in the public eye, such as entertainers, movie and television stars, and professional athletes, have extremely high divorce rates.
Additionally, in the U.S., policemen have a very high divorce rate, one of the highest of any profession. The reasons are legion: it’s a hazardous profession, the uniform, badge, gun and authority attract the opposite sex like a magnet, and dealing with the negative side of human nature makes a policeman cynical.
About fifty percent of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce and the stats are nearly as high in Russia, the UK, Denmark, New Zealand, Australia and Canada. And almost two-thirds of second marriages end, while almost three-quarters of third marriages dissolve.
What ever happened to the vows taken in the marriage ceremony? Why are people divorcing instead of resolving their differences?
The lack of importance people place in marriage is evidenced by the number of couples who choose not to marry, but instead live together in “civil unions,” while still choosing to have children. Amongst the underprivileged it is not uncommon for a woman to have a number of children by different fathers.
The breakdown of the family as the center of domestic life is part of the cause of the lack of commitment to marriage. It is also the result of this lack of commitment.
The movement away from religious faith has also contributed to many people not taking their marriage vows seriously. Their lack of belief in a deity means that the vows they take “before God and man” have no real meaning in their minds.
Fortunately, divorce between couples with children is about forty percent less than that between couples with no children. But even within that smaller number, what message does it send to the children of these broken marriages that it is okay to separate and divorce? What sort of commitment can we expect from the children of divorced parents?
More than one-third of children come from broken homes and the average age for a first divorce is about thirty years old, the median age when most people have children. Thus, many children are raised in single parent-households during their formative years, a time when they need both male and female parental influences.
The divorce rate and the apparent lack of respect for marriage vows is a sad commentary on the state of our modern society. If marriage is no longer a sacred act between two people who are (or should be) making a lifelong commitment, then why marry at all?
We could revert to a primitive societal structure like the one amongst chimpanzees, where casual male-female relationships are the norm and promiscuity is universal. Females in estrus mate with any male who shows his desire for them, usually all the adult males.
This causes the paternity of these babies to be so in doubt that all the males act like all the young ones are their offspring. But at least the male chimps show some responsibility, unlike their human cousins.
Here’s one statistic that is telling: Among couples with strong religious beliefs and practices, the respect for marriage vows is much higher and divorce is much less common. A respect for their faith gives greater meaning to the promise they made in the eyes of their God.
Working at a marriage is harder than treating it as a casual liaison and only about half the couples in a marriage are willing to work at it.
Win Back Your Ex
If you have separated or divorced and decide you want to get your ex back, there are normally a number of ways to go about it. But if you cheated and now want to win back your ex-husband, your game plan will need to be extraordinary. Cheating is the single most damaging thing you can do to a relationship and you can’t expect your ex to get over the betrayal as easily as he would get over an argument that got out of control.
For many years, it’s the image of the cheating husband with which we have been most familiar. But now, more and more women are the guilty parties for betraying their partners and they are the ones having to work at getting their relationships on track. Although you may figure out how to win back your ex-husband repeatedly following multiple infidelities, you are going to be more likely to end up with a solid, trusting relationship if you are not a serial cheater.
Either way, these are some important things to keep in mind while you are working at getting your ex back once you have cheated on him:
* Accept that you aren’t going to win back your ex-husband overnight. You are going to have to make a commitment to getting things back to where they should be and do whatever it takes for however long it takes to do it. If your ex is agreeable, you may have to start over with your relationship and gradually build back up to a serious commitment with trust instead of trying to back up to where you were before you cheated.
* Before you start trying to win back your ex-husband, be honest with yourself about why you cheated in the first place. At least for a brief time, you didn’t think everything was perfect or that he was the right one for you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have turned to someone else. Analyze your actions and be certain that you want to get things back on track with him.
* Don’t confuse a guilty conscious with the desire to win back your ex-husband so that you can stay together for the rest of your life. Cheating on your husband isn’t like changing your mind about which shoes to wear. If you don’t know why you behaved in this way, you are destined to repeat this action in the future.
* Start with a sincere apology for what you have done. Apologize for your mistake and for the pain you have caused him and assure him that he is the one you want. Then leave him alone. You don’t have to remind him several times a day that you are still interested.
* Don’t put the blame on him. Even if you think he is as much to blame as you are, telling him so is no way to win him back. This would be a serious case of adding insult to injury and you are probably going to make him even more defensive than he already is.
* Put his needs first. It’s up to you to win your ex back after hurting him and you will have to put your needs on the back burner until you can make an honest effort to repair your relationship.
Sometimes, the only way to understand what went wrong and how to fix it is by going to a professional. If you can’t seem to move forward, consider getting the help you need to win back your ex.
Win Back Your Ex-Husband
Sure he left the toilet seat up a few times, but overall he was a good husband. You’d like him back, because everyone else out there is a lot less interesting. So your next step is to win back your ex-husband.
First of all, you have to deal with the causes of the break-up. Who was responsible for the actions that led to the divorce or separation, you or him? Obviously, if it was his actions, they are not unforgivable or you wouldn’t want him back.
If your actions were responsible, how readily will he forgive you? How good was the relationship before the acts that led to the break-up? What are the best things you and he shared in your marriage? What were the low points?
Has enough time passed that any sins committed can be more easily forgiven? Time, as the saying goes, does heal all wounds.
If the marriage produced any children, then they are a consideration as well. If they would like their father back in the home you shared together, then you might enlist their assistance if they are old enough to understand.
You have to be careful if you involve the kids because it could appear to him like you are using them to ensnare him.
If you are on speaking terms with your ex-husband, you should try to arrange a meeting with him at a quiet place, not a noisy bar or crowded restaurant. Instead, you should choose a place that both of you will associate with fond memories of your relationship.
The reason for the meeting may be expressed as, “I need to talk to you about something that is very important and affects both of us. I can’t talk on the phone, but must see you in person.”
Prepare what you want to say. Make an outline as if you were making a business presentation. This event is, after all, more important than any business meeting. Practice what you want to say and learn your lines, but don’t be too stilted when you speak to him.
Be sure to include a list of all the reasons you should get back together. You may ask for a trial period, or just to start dating. If his actions precipitated the break-up, give him your complete forgiveness. If the actions were yours, ask for his forgiveness.
If your ex-husband accepts your invitation, half the battle is won. It is a sign that he has no problem meeting with you and talking. If he was very resentful over the divorce, he might not agree to meet at all.
Refrain from anything that might be construed as begging, pleading or playing on his sympathies. This is a huge turn-off to most people and would probably make it even harder for you to connect with your former husband.
If the meeting doesn’t work or isn’t possible, you should see if you can have a third party intervene. Your priest, pastor, rabbi or other Church official is a good place to start. Another alternative is a good mutual friend or couple who will talk to your ex-husband for you.
His relatives are also a possible source you can use to reconnect with your ex-husband. You could enlist their aid to get him to listen to your proposal.
Leave no stone unturned, nor any legitimate act undone if you want to reconnect with him.
How To Win Back Your Ex-Wife
If your relationship has ended in divorce, that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be over for good. Given time, persistence and a willingness to take some steps to rebuild and improve, you might be successful in an effort to win back your ex-wife.
Before you embark on a journey to try and win back your ex-wife, though, it is well worth exploring your personal motivations. If you can identify where things went wrong and what might be necessary to fix them, and you truly believe the relationship is worth salvaging, you can proceed with a clear conscience. If your relationship was unhealthy from the start or involved serious breaches of trust, you may want to seriously consider alternatives to getting back together.
But if you are genuine about wanting to win back your ex-wife, these steps may help:
* Let her know how you feel – If you ever want a chance to win back your ex-wife, she has to know your intentions and why you believe your relationship can be rebuilt for the better. Clearly state your case and the steps you are willing to take to put things back on solid footing.
* Admit mistakes – Even if your breakup was “technically” your ex-wife’s fault, relationships are a two-way street. When they fall apart, both parties are usually to blame. So admit your mistakes and explain what you’d like to do to remedy them.
* Listen to her – You may find that your ex-wife isn’t all that interested in getting back together but has plenty to say about what went wrong. Or on the contrary, you may find that she has been feeling exactly the same way. In either case, listen to what she has to say and take in her suggestions and criticisms with the genuine intention of processing what she is saying. Don’t go on the defensive, and refrain from interrupting. Your mission here is to listen to her and understand what she has to say.
* Give her some time – If she asks for some time to process what you’ve said or to think about the proposition, give it to her. While it might seem like a great idea to try and woo her and sweep her off her feet again immediately, don’t try this, at least not right away. You might get her attention by making grand gestures, but you might just as easily annoy her and drive a bigger wedge between the two of you.
* Work on yourself – One of the best things you can do to win back your ex-wife is to demonstrate your willingness to become a better partner. Do this by working on personal changes you’d like to make, taking on a positive approach to life and becoming the person you want to be. Do not change for her, but take steps to be the stronger, better and healthier person you know you can be.
* Take it slow – If your ex-wife does agree to try and work things out, go slowly. Do not expect to repair a damaged relationship overnight. Carefully work through each issue you need to tackle together. Go on dates and learn to enjoy each other’s company again. Rekindle your love and slowly work on the passion.
Even if you are unsuccessful in following the steps to win back your ex-wife, making a genuine effort can give you the closure you need to move on that the court proceedings didn’t provide. By stating your feelings and intent and taking steps to improve who you are, you will become more comfortable in your own skin. This can be very attractive to others, perhaps even your ex-wife.
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Get Your Ex Back
When you first went your separate ways, you may not have thought you would ever be concerned about how to get your ex back. Now that the anger and hurt has subsided, you may not even remember if it was your idea, hers, or by mutual agreement that the breakup occurred. All you know is that you are ready to get her back and you don’t know where to start. Here are some tips on what you should and shouldn’t do to improve your odds:
- Don’t be a pushover. Even if she complained during your relationship that you were too overbearing, that doesn’t mean she wants a man who isn’t strong enough to stand up to her. Threatening to jump off a bridge if she doesn’t take you back isn’t going to make her come running back.
- You can’t get your ex back with flowers and gifts. If she has already lost the feeling of attraction she had for you, she probably won’t consider coming back to the relationship unless she somehow gets that feeling back. So no matter what you give her, it isn’t going to change the way she sees you personally.
- There has been a lot of advice written about the importance of finding what it was that you had together in the beginning of the relationship. Realistically, people change and whatever she admired most in you in the beginning may be more of an irritant at this point than something she finds attractive. Instead, think of things that she has mentioned or responded to in a more positive way recently. Chemistry can be one of the most important ingredients to help you get your ex back and the most impressive thing you can do may be something that seems insignificant to you.
- One of the worst things you can do is try to use jealousy to get your ex back. If you take another woman out and make sure that all of your mutual friends know it so that it will get back to her, she won’t come running back. In fact, she may think you didn’t care very much for her in the first place.
- Don’t turn into a desperate stalker. Chasing her and calling her every five minutes is not the way to get your ex back. Instead, it’s a way to descend to a whole new level in the wrong direction. She has a mind of her own and she will have to make the decision to come back on her own. Harassment isn’t going to persuade her.
- Don’t refuse to get professional help. Men don’t normally like the idea of going to counseling because it simply goes against their nature to allow someone else to solve their problems for them. If you are sincere in wanting to know how to get your ex back, then be open to counseling. You may find that counseling is the one way that you can gain perspective that you might never otherwise have.
- If you are to blame for the break-up, then apologizing sincerely for hurting your ex will go farther than anything else you can say. A sincere apology is one which includes more than those two little words. Include an explanation of why you are sorry that will let her know you understand how your actions have hurt her so that she will believe you will never hurt her again.
Depending on a number of factors, you may get your ex back easily or you may have to come to terms with the fact that the breakup is for good. However, a thoughtful approach has more potential for a positive outcome than one that is reckless.